It’s funny – since I stopped writing on this blog, blogging has become my full time job.
If you’ve kept up with my story for a while, you’d know that I started this blog in 2014 to share my thoughts on all things beauty. Back then, I was absolutely obsessed with the beauty community on YouTube and WordPress, and wanted a piece of the action. Over time, my interests transitioned to a more lifestyle-based direction and I began to create more of that content. I loved it. I truly, truly did. But then I moved states.
This is not to say that moving house made me stop writing. I made me stop writing. After moving, I immediately felt settled. I felt that this was the place I needed to be and that things would just be perfect. But summer turned to autumn and next thing I knew I was 4 months unemployed, having applied for over 100 jobs in the area and getting nothing. I started to panic.
In April, I got offered what can only be described as my dream job. I write blogs for a large streetwear company for their homepage, create any other copy they need and run their verified Instagram account. My degree in media and interest in writing had aligned for me to take this job.
But, all of a sudden, I was unhappy.
Suddenly I was nostalgic for my unemployment. Gone were those leisurely days of freedom where I would wake up at 11am, mosey on down to the shops with my flatmate and spend the day and night stuffing our faces with junk food. Time was gone. I spent all my hours at work and because my flatmate works nightshift, so I found myself alone every damn night with no other friends and nothing else do to.
My energy and mood dropped lightning fast. Although better now, it’s taken a lot to even begin to recover. Nothing can quite prepare you for a complete existential crisis when you find yourself alone each night, but knowing you should be happy because you have everything. The dream job. A beautiful home. So on.
I had forgotten all about this blog. It’s crazy to think that as I look back through my old posts and see all the hours and hours of hard work and dedication that went into it. I poured my heart and soul onto these digital pages, saving up for months to buy a decent DSLR to take high-quality images and spending hours planning and prepping and photographing and writing. This was my own side project that I did simply because I loved it.
I’m not really sure why I stopped. Laziness was part of it, plus I also felt like I had nothing to write about. When I remembered about it, I felt I had no time. I thought no one would want to keep reading it.
But then I realised – I never did this for anyone else. I did it for me.
And so, I would like to come back. Not permanently, not on a schedule, not on anything. But I would like to rekindle the love I once had for my own little space on the internet and create some things in my spare time that help me feel less alone, more connected and more whole.